I'm so sorry, i'm really so very sorry that I'm this way. I never meant anything, I never meant to feel this way, I never meant to be this way, I never meant to be so weak and so stupid and so naive and such a wrecked specimen of a human. If I could take this beating pulse and turn it to stony granite to get rid of all the hurt and the swirling tempest of everything, I would; I really would. But maybe once again I'm too weak to do so, and so I just end up hurting more than myself.

Sometimes I wish I'd just be able to get a clear look, and not have to keep guessing and thinking and considering and pondering and wondering, then maybe I'd not feel dizzy and conflicted all the time, like a pandora's box has opened up inside of me and I can't get everything back in place where they belong. I'd want to be honest, I'd want everyone else to be honest, but sometimes we don't think or we don't know or we just don't care.

And I guess maybe the best thing for me to do is make myself scarce so I don't interrupt the beautiful flow as it is now. Take away the anomaly, take away the outlier, take away the limiting reactant, take away the deformity, and life can be wonderful. Take me away from all this.

I'm so sorry that I can't raise my head to face the storm. I'm so sorry for stumbling through everything and maybe in the process of alleviating the pain, I elevated yours. We belong where we are happy. You belong where you are happy. I belong where I am happy. I will try to be happy because I know that you're happy.

Nothing else matters.

I swear that you don't have to go
I thought we could wait for the fireworks
I thought we could wait for the snow
To wash over Georgia and kill the hurt
I thought I could live in your arms
And spend every moment I had with you
Stay up all night with the stars
Confess all the faith that I had in you
Too late, I'm sure, and lonely
Another night, another dream wasted on you
Just be here now against me
You know the words so sing along for me baby
For heaven's sake I know you're sorry
But you won't stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know I'm dying
With my heart beside me
In shattered pieces that may never be replaced
And if I died right now you'd never be the same

I thought with a month of apart
Together would find us an opening
And moonlight would provide the spark
And that I would stumble across the key
Or break down the door to your heart
Forever could see us not you and me
And you'd help me out of the dark
And I'd give my heart as an offering

And I will always remember you as you are right now to me
And I will always remember now
Sleep alone tonight with no one here just by your side
How does he feel, how does he kiss
How does he taste while he's on your lips
I can't forget you