Sometimes I think we can be really silly ...
And of course by 'we', I mean me. If I could peer into others' minds to see how they feel and how they think, perhaps I might find i'm not as alone in my ways and feelings. But of course, that's impossible, so I guess right now all I can do is wonder as to why I seem to be the only one feeling these things.

Sometimes those things that get you down are really trivial and nonsensical, and the sadness is just brought about by those dark shadows lurking in the corner of your mind that tell you 'This is really bad, this means much more than what you can see on the surface.' But actually in all truth they're just normal, everyday things that happen.

Are we all the same? No matter our upbringing, or our situation in life, do us humans feel the same way most of the time at similar situations? When stripped down to our barest natures, releasing everything bestial and primal, I guess we are indeed all the same. How we are affected by them, boils down to our mindset... If we are able to immediately downplay these things happening and try to make light of everything, we will definitely feel happier, because we're able to deal with them maturely and rationally.

But certain things are really hard to ignore, and can do so much more than just souring our heart. Evoking powerful feelings of jealousy, depression, and rage; afflicting us with a feeling thats heartwrenching but inexplicable - we don't know why we feel this way. Forcing our maturity levels way down such that we are unable to give and take, unable to share, unable to compromise and learn to release and let go, just like a child's death grip on his lollipop as his mom tries to take it away so as to not spoil his dinner.

I guess, it might be just me afterall. Unless everyone else hides it under such a thick, well-constructed facade. But then again, we all have people we cry out to in times of need and anguish, and I certainly cannot claim to be an Aunt Agony to everyone. Not everyone can get along with each other, and it is a blessing that friends are chosen and not given. But certain things in life are indeed given, and we have to learn to appreciate and deal with them all the same, be they good or bad.

Somehow I don't share a similar feeling of excitement; the ship's about to embark and we're about to take this journey together - everyone else's laughing and having a great time. I can just envision it now - a warm fire, merry laughter ringing out, the clinking of glasses of ale, hearty jokes and friendly hugs and slaps on the back as my counterparts chatter excitedly about what's to come. But all I want to do is huddle up in the bunk and peer out the porthole, just wishing for it to be all over soon so that things may return to normal. The seasickness is getting to me; and I'm thankful that this voyage has bestowed upon me people that care and a trove of experiences and stories. But you're standing amongst fellow sailors that don't really matter to you while your loved ones are a thousand miles away from you (physical distance or spiritual; it doesn't really matter), it's not really something you'd want to last.

Intensified feelings and over-sensitivity; hey you, I would do anything for you.
Soft smiles and gentle words; they do nothing to thaw the chill.
Half-hearted glances and a look away; I steel myself to ignore it all.
A new year's beginning, new days, new hours, new minutes, new moments.
Would that we could go back to before I realized the futility of it all.
When you turn away, what's running through your mind? I'd give king's fortunes to know.
I'd like to take you to Paris and London; to New York and Vienna - we'd walk along the darkened streets and gaze up at the millions of lights
We'd gaze out at the horizon upon a bridge, and I'd tell you how much you mean to me

Let me take you there...
We can get away, to a better place,
If you let me take you there
We, can go there now, 'cause every second counts
Girl just let me take you there

Boys don't cry.