I think the idea of having two single-sex schools coming together and mixing in a mixed junior college, with a scattering of other school people thrown into the fray doesn't work out.

RJC has its high times and provides alot of fun and laughter - but right now I'm so tempted to break my own rules and swear horribly on this blog. In a way, RJC can be seen to be an illuminating light - it brings out the true side of many people and displays who can be counted among one's true friends and more often than not, exposes the frauds for who they really are.

In RJC everyone tries to be connected to everyone. Other than, of course, those pasty-faced, bespectacled totally and utterly committed zealots belonging to the sect of Mugging, who find pleasure in nothing other than socializing with their notes and books, who are an organization unto themselves. You can see all the wannabes and all the already-ares, all the worms and ravens working their way and attempting to penetrate every single social circle. Facebook and friendster are merely ways of demonstrating one's popularity unless one uses them for amusement purposes only. Even those not intending to do so unconsciously find themselves widening their circles and taking up the time that friends have for each other.

The presence of a large population of the opposite sex for both sides does not help of course. If the late Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin were to make a documentary on people who are all too eager to fraternise and socialize with the opposite sex, he'd be referring to them as a species all on their own, with intense camera angles and the lens zooming in onto him as he described the attack patterns and lifestyles of such people. Whether its an effort to jack up one's popularity and image by charming the opposite sex, or just a desperate attempt at getting hitched, this undeniably exists. Of course those in the business of merely making friends are absolved from blame. There is nothing wrong with friendship.

RJ brings with it an amalgamation of a trillion different personalities: and ten times that number of thoughts and emotions. It seems so weird how a person can be close to ten different people at the same time; all different from each other in many ways. Perhaps this is the reason why it is so hard to forge closer and stronger relationships in RJ - there are too many people for one to be close to.

Of course, no one can forget that mega-clique - the force that is the 'essence' of the school, that runs the school and forms its very spine, as some might choose to call it. The Students' Council - that which ruins lives. Whether its putting undue stress on the lives of councilors, or separating councilors from their old friends, it at least achieves a solid purpose: councilors form rock solid bonds amongst each other. Or at least most of them do. Hence the dubbing mega-clique. There are of course the exceptions, as there are everywhere else. Not to say that the council does not benefit the student body: it tries its best to achieve that purpose and the efforts of the councilors and the committees are appreciated and acknowledged. But it is in its own way a pair of handcuffs or a prison cell. In fact, in more ways than one.

One can hardly blame the other school students then, who feel that RJ is nothing but a 'green-and-white' prison, as aptly described by a friend. More so for some than others. We are maimed by the shackles of committment and new cliques, while the lockets stored in our hearts that serve to remind us of old relationships have long been released by the keys forged in the heat and the frenzy of getting to know more people. We are increasingly forced to stare at those beloved to us and watch them continue blundering on, forsaking the faith and the hope that we have put on them. Perhaps their eyes have been afflicted by a curse so permanent that they are no longer aware of those once dear to them. Or they could simply be drowned in the endless sea of bodies threatening to smother them as their circles expand with a rate of change so large that even Maths teachers skilled in the Applications of Differentiation would be hard pressed to calculate it.

Life in school is a life-threatening experience everyday: the stinging barbs of the rattlesnakes, cobras and black mambas slithering along the floor and through the networks and gossip lines; the spite the hate the backstabbing the bitching the rumours the nonsense and the culmination of it all lead to an experience that is not pleasant, not pleasant at all. One can adopt a devil-may-care attitude and attempt to shrug it off as something insignificant but the adage 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me' is proven to be utter rubbish right here. And don't even pretend to not know what I'm talking about: that is of course unless no one knows of your existence.

Inevitably, there will be the individuals that irk us to the point that we feel like aiming a revolver at our cranium and squeezing off: ending it all. Then our logic gets the better of us and we realize the more sensible way would be to aim the gun at the individual in question. So it begins, the massacring of egos and reputations and individual self-esteem. And it seems oh-so-justified at times, and being one who cannot get along with every single person, I am all for it. But it would be a better place if this were to change.

But thank God for giving me people to cherish and people to enjoy my time with and people to make it all a little easier to stand. A blessing in disguise can comprise of different proportions: but as long as theres a salve to counter the venom, we will make it through together. All I wish sometimes is that it wasn't as hard nor as taxing. But who am I to complain? Just an ant in the gigantic colony, anonymous and not making a mark. Perhaps I could release pheromones or whatever it is ants do to leave some remembrance as to my ever having stepped on these exalted grounds, but they wouldn't have any lasting effect.

And it comes down to the fact that sometimes all one can do is pray for restoration.