Driftwood
I hate what is happening to me. As the days, and the weeks, and even the months go by, I feel like a piece of driftwood, floating aimlessly by. And the drifting hardly signifies my lack of a goal, or inability to do anything. On the contrary I am in fact busier than usual, with all the many projects that our teachers have forced on to us.

No, what I'm referring to is the slow drift away from some people (or perhaps, a person.) that I used to be close to. Does absence truly make the heart grow fonder? I guess it doesn't, I mean with two people both so busy with their own lives and the people surrounding them, how is it easy for us to give a thought to those we don't keep in touch with, but yet so badly want to.

Indeed as the days drift past me I feel as if everything doesn't hold much meaning without those who I hold dear to my heart. Sure the constant release and fun times of the company spent with my great friends are temporal drugs that ease the pain. But when I'm alone and my thoughts start to wander. They wander to y....

I count myself lucky to have friends like I do. I count myself blessed to be able to know all the great people that I do. I am happy for myself that I do not fall into seclusion and keep myself away from all the people that want to be a part of my life (or just happen to be there). But friends will not bring you eternal happiness. There is no such thing as a soulmate in a friend. That would be just too weird. Wouldn't it now?

So as my mind drifts back to the memories of all the fun times we had together, I really feel the stab in my heart of longing and a wishing to turn back the clock to those times, times that were so much more carefree and when we were so much closer. But there are also times when I wish I could turn forward the clock. Such that I might be more mature. Older, wiser, and more worthy. Worthy of what? ... ...

The greatest gift that I could think of would be the ability to turn back time. Reliving those days and past memories, past experiences over and over again. Those fleeting moments where you did something special and I could feel the happiness overflowing in my heart. ("You" here being an indefinite term). Not counting the innumberable conveniences such an ability might bring me, and the possibility of reworking all the mistakes I've made in the past, I'd be able to spend as much time as I wanted. With anyone I choose.

Mistakes. If only I had opened my eyes earlier, at a time when things were so much better. If only my juvenile and childish mind back then could be swapped with what I would have done now. If only I knew that I had one more chance again. But nothing's assured. if only, if only, if only...

Peace.